There Is No GOAT

New York Times best-selling author Sarah Pekkanen said, "The worst of humanity comes out in the shadows." There is no darker corner of the world than the pages of social media. In the pitch black of the internet, known as Twitter and Facebook, dwells the troll.

We've all encountered a troll and even done battle with them. They post asinine statements about politics, religion, and sports, then wait for people to comment one way or another, and let the commenters tear each other apart with insults, profanity, and ignorance. One of their favorite pieces of bait to use is a goat.

What Is A G.O.A.T.?

In the past, if you were called a goat in any sport, that usually meant that you were a choke artist. You were someone who failed, and usually in spectacular fashion. As an acronym-loving culture grew up and took over web pages, they gave us POTUS (President of the United States), YOLO (you only live once), and GOAT (greatest of all time).

Creating a Mount Rushmore of sports' greatest figures is not spicy enough of a debate for the masses. Why argue over fourth place when you can argue over the best? Who is and isn't the GOAT is a debate, that like politics, can lead to awkward Thanksgivings. It can lead to fistfights in parking lots, and it certainly leads to fights, name-calling, and slurs on social media.

It could be a dispute about Brady or Mahomes, Jordan or LeBron, and even Bonds or Ruth (assuming there are still sports families that discuss baseball). No matter what side of the aisle you are on, rest assured you are wrong. You are also right. Because there actually isn't a GOAT in any sport. There never was, and there never will be.

Why Isn't There A GOAT?

The terms great, greatest, better, and best are subjective terms, not factual terms. In other words, when you state something or someone is the greatest, you are never stating a fact, but rather your opinion. You are saying what is greatest to you, in your mind, and your heart, but it's rather pretentious to speak for the rest of the world.

That's not to say that opinions aren't backed by facts. They absolutely are. The thing about using facts and statistics in a GOAT debate, is you get to cherry-pick the stats that support your case and omit the ones that hurt it. For example, you may have heard someone say that Michael Jordan has six championship rings and that makes him better than LeBron James. Notice how they use rings (a stat that helps them in the argument) and omit career points (a stat that hurts their argument).

The Hypocrisy Of Statistics

The other problem with people's stat-choosing is immediately after selecting criteria for their GOAT, they will give you a dozen exceptions to the rules they just invented. If Jordan is better than LeBron because of ring totals, wouldn't Robert Horry, John Havlicek, Bob Cousy, and Bill Russell all be better than MJ? Wouldn't that make Tony Parker better than John Stockton? They will say "No" because their rule only applies to Jordan and James, and no other players who have every played.

The people who claim Barry Sanders was better than Emmitt Smith because he was more electric don't think Bo Jackson is better than Barry for the same reason. The people who claim Brady isn't the greatest because "he cheated", tend to forget that the 49ers of the 80's were some of the league's biggest cheaters. Either the stats apply to everyone or they apply to nobody.

Different Eras

We've all seen the memes. Two people accused of crimes get different sentences, and since they are different races, that can be the only excuse. While there is a possibility that race was involved in the decision, you have to acknowledge that there are a number of additional factors that may have played a role in that. Primarily, that these are two different people, with two different backgrounds, with two different lawyers, in front of two different judges, with fates divided by two different juries, on two different crimes. 

The same is true when comparing athletes. It's easy to adopt an “ All things being equal” mentality, and people typically do it when all things are not actually equal. Often they are comparing two different players, from two different teams, with different sets of teammates, different coaches, different schedules, and even from different eras.

It makes no sense to just look at two stat lines versus each other when they could be from eras with different rules, different styles of play, different body types of players, and possibly even eras where it was ok to practice racism through segregation. If it is illogical to compare two players from the same era because they play in two completely different situations, how can it possibly be logical to compare two players who played 40 years apart? 

The “If Game”

It is typical for people debating players from different teams or different generations to participate in what I like to call the if game. The person will say something to the effect of “ if this thing that never happened actually had happened, then this thing that I can't prove but you can't prove wrong would be true.”

Here's an example we've all heard; “ If Michael Jordan played in today's NBA, he would average 60 points per game.” There's no way to prove the statement, and there's no way to disprove it. The statement itself is purely speculation. When the game is afoot, I chime in with something outlandishly ridiculous, but equally provable. “ If Spud Webb played in the '70s, he would be the league's all-time leading rebounder.”

Somebody who throws out an “if” statement Is doing so because they don't have actual facts or statistics to back up their case. They lean on conjecture like Muhammad Ali leaning on the ropes against Foreman. They're hoping you tire yourself out arguing against fantasy. Don't take the bait. The if game has no winners, only losers.

At the end of the day, there is no GOAT, only your opinion over who should be the GOAT based on your opinion of what stats and facts are most important. Jordan isn't better than LeBron, but he is better than LeBron. Brady is better than Mahomes, even though he isn't. Are you confused? Then you might be a troll.

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