College Football Teams As Christmas Movies
Alright, this one may seem weird but after a marathon of Christmas movies, I'm just having fun with it. Let's compare the college football playoff teams to Christmas movies. Starting with Alabama, they will be compared to the Grinch as they are here to steal Christmas and all the fun for everyone in college football, including Florida State, which we will get to.
Michigan will be compared to the dysfunctional Griswold family in "Christmas Vacation." The movie Elf will represent Washington. Like Washington, they are an outcast that has been given up on, but they don't give up on themselves, just like Buddy the Elf.
Texas will be compared to Santa Clause 2, where they had a rough patch but managed to bounce back and win the Big 12. Just like when Santa leaves the North Pole to find a wife and makes it back just in time for Christmas. Like the movie, we could get a chance at a rematch or "sequel" between two teams, which can be exciting, even if not everyone wants it. Funny enough not everyone likes the sequel.
Michigan-Christmas Vacation
Michigan has had a very dysfunctional season, to say the least. No other movie comes to mind besides National Lampoon Christmas Vacation. Everything about Clark's "good ole fashion Christmas" is dysfunctional. Just like Michigan.
First, we have the cheeseburger incident. He could've told the truth and none of this would've happened. Harbaugh lied about buying four cheeseburgers. He got himself into this just like when Clark ends up under an 18-wheeler and is driven off the road by the rednecks in the opening scene. Clark could've prevented it but just like Harbaugh chose to fight back.
Now, Connor Stallions is no other than Cousin Eddie himself. The second they're mentioned chaos unravels. From eating jello with cat food to pouring his sewage in the city sewer. Reminds me of Connor Stallions started with one "fake" report then escalated quickly to pictures of him on the sideline at Central Michigan and tickets for multiple in-conference games.
Stallions being fired is like the final hoorah like when Cousin Eddie goes and kidnaps Clark's boss because he doesn't get his bonus. He gets enrolled into a Jelly of the Month club instead. Until the end when his boss realizes it was a bad idea to not give out bonuses. This reminds me of Sherrone Moore coming in to be interim coach and helping the team win out.
Washington-Elf
Washington is like the weird kid on the block that no one believes in. Just like Buddy the Elf, they are the outcasts, doubted multiple times, but they keep coming back because they can't be defeated - just like Buddy with his father. Buddy wouldn't take no for an answer, and this Washington team is the same. Buddy tries everything to convince his family to embrace the Christmas spirit, which reminds me of Washington's determination to achieve the perfect season.
Washington had to prove that they could beat Oregon twice. They beat Oregon and were still a 10-point underdog in the conference championship game, but they still won. Washington was written off, but like Penix said, "they didn't write back." They didn't care about the odds, just like Buddy at the end who did everything he could to save Christmas and make people believe in Santa, like Washington fights to be liked by America.
Texas-Santa Clause 2
Texas is interesting you could go a few ways here but I find the most resemblance to 'Santa Clause 2' with Tim Allen. In the movie, Santa has to find a wife, but it seems impossible. Just like after some mid-season struggles quarterback Quin Ewers went down for a couple of games. With the early loss to Oklahoma, all pressure was on Maalik Murphy. They seemed to be out, but they found a way to keep the losses to the one with and Ewers made it back in time to blow out Oklahoma State in the Big 12 Championship.
Just like how Santa finds his wife and ends up saving Christmas. It was a little scary for a little like when the toy Santa went rogue and tried to ruin Christmas. Texas faced some challenges, similar to Santa Claus, but they managed to secure one of the best victories this season by defeating Alabama in Tuscaloosa with a double-digit lead.
Although some were not in favor of their playoff qualification, they deserved it due to their triumph and conference championship. This reminds me of how some people were skeptical about a sequel, but it turned out to be a great success, just like the Texas team.
Alabama-Grinch
Alabama is like the Grinch (2000) or at least Coach Saban is cuddly as a cactus and as charming as an eel. He's the most hated in college football that's for sure. Saban and this Alabama football team want to do one thing and that's steal Christmas aka the National Championship.
The Grinch's dog Max reminds me of Tommy Reese and Kevin Steel. They just do what they're told, along for the ride some may say. When I think of Jalen Milore, I'm reminded of Cindy Lou Who from 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas.' Just like the little girl who never gave up on showing the Grinch the true meaning of Christmas, Jalen never gave up on Alabama even when he was benched.
Speaking of the true meaning of Christmas, it's like Alabama winning the championship but with Nick Saban retiring afterward leaving college football wide open. In a way, he steals Christmas, but he gives it all back after he finds the true meaning of Christmas. Which would be like if Saban wins but retires.
The First Two Out
Ahh Florida State you remind me of 'It's a Wonderful Life,' you may be good but no one wants to watch you at the end of the day so we don't. The one movie I couldn't get through that's how bad they'd be with their third-string quarterback. Now, Georgia you already lost your playoff game so you were left 'Home Alone.' Just like Kevin in 'Home Alone' left home and not coming to Paris with the rest even if it isn't a good time, but hey maybe you can get Florida State caught in a trap like Harry and Marv.
Y'all have a Merry Christmas and Happy Bowl Season!
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