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A Road to Wrestlemania Filled With Obstacles


It has been a long time since I put my words on electronic paper. The Pats continue to make me rip my thinning hair out on our YouTube channel. It has gotten so bad that I had to create my own Patriots team with my good pal Soor!



Anyway, the CEO of our fantastic organization begs me weekly to pump out wrestling content. I talk about it with a good buddy of mine on her youtube channel, why can’t I bring that over to the Stadium of Ranting?! I caved but needed the right time to return. Like the return of a wrestler to their brand, it needs to be done right. Wrestlemania has entered the chat. 


The Travel Day From Hell

I woke up at 4 am, per usual. I hopped in the shower, grabbed my bags, and was ready to hit the airport. My dad drove me and dropped me at the gate. Everything is going pretty well. Even getting through security wasn’t an issue. I bought myself some breakfast and began to walk to my gate. 


As I approach the gate, the worst type of email pops into my inbox. Canceled. 


The captain of all things nonsensical springs into action! A new ticket enters my Apple wallet but for a flight in 12 hours. Back to the Pitts Cave, we go!


I had brutal luck due to the weather, but I am remaining positive because I have a new flight and can catch up on the episode of RAW I fell asleep through. My friends were home from work, ready to help me get through the day with some nonsense. Time was flying by! Before I knew it, I was heading back to the airport! WOOO!!!


It gets worse.


I did not have my parents drive me to the airport for a second time. Traffic is brutal at that time of night. They need to unwind from work and let me figure out my problems. I arrive at the gate, the security head, and go through the metal detector. My bag is flagged. Of course, it is!


I am fuming as I wait for someone to deal with my flagged bag. This day has been nothing but an unnecessary hurdle. I should be in Philly right now watching Bryce Harper hit piss missiles into the night! Twenty minutes pass before one of the lovely airport staff members takes a look at my bag. He sends it back through the machine. It receives a green light. Time I was wasted on nonsense—just my luck. 


I found the closest bar—a Pepsi, 23 oz. Bud Light and clam chowder filled my tummy until I headed to the gate. As I’m enjoying my meal, the announcements over the intercom are muffled. The worst part is that I am in the international wing of the airport, where countries sound like gibberish mixed in with numbers. I ignored the noise. 


I wrapped up my meal, gathered my belongings, and headed to the gate. I sat down for a few minutes before realizing the time. We should be boarding. It is 10 minutes until takeoff! I walked to the desk to board. The woman gave me a heart attack. The flight departed. It left 10 minutes before the scheduled time. I blow a gasket. What do you mean that they just decided to leave early?! When did you expect to inform the peeps?!


According to these bozos, they made an announcement. That gibberish was important information. No need to send an email or text alert! Just make noises into the microphone, sprinkling a few buzzwords to make your point. That makes sense!


Before I could even ask for some answers, one of these employees played the victim card, stating that he didn’t make these decisions. He’s merely an innocent crew member. The champ does not have time to deal with feebleness. 


I blurt out a grunt and walk over to buy an Amtrak ticket for the next day. As I write these words to you, peeps, I am on that train now. 


What Airline Was It, Pat?


I am not one for throwing anyone under the bus. That is not what champions do. We lift our peeps to walk with us through the good and bad of life. However, I’m taking the belt off - a gesture that won't be seen at this weekend's Wrestlemania. 


Frontier Airlines is undoubtedly the worst airline I have ever attempted to fly. First of all, they have zero customer service hotlines. It’s a DM with a representative. Imagine the road I must travel now to get a refund for this disaster!


Second, the staff was the most unwelcoming and lazy I have ever been treated. As someone who has worked in all sorts of service for their entire life, I was appalled. There was zero attempt to rectify the situation. They just continued their side conversations about the drama in their lives. 


The vouchers in my inbox hold less weight than a Chuckie Cheese token. I demand an apology and full refund for this horrendous experience. A woman waiting with me during the flight had three flights canceled on her, and she had been at the airport since Sunday! Imagine what that beautiful soul is going through. 


So, to wrap up the shenanigans, this day of exhaustion has taught me one thing. Listen to your gut and always have a plan B.


I’ll be back with an update soon.


Sincerely,

Your Champion.


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